how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
