Just fell off a train. Bad.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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