I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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