I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
