dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
