But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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