I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
