Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
