We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
