Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
