dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
