Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
