Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
are you so shy because you have an std?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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