3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize