In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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