No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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