For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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