So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
