Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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