he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
