idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize