It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
