Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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