We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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