I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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