I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
