I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize