I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
