mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
