maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
