Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Porn is love you can see.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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