Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
