We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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