her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
