Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize