Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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