she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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