I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
