Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
