At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
