I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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