Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
