So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
