quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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