Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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