I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
