Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
