Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
