My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize