I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
