I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
