i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
