How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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