Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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