Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
