I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
