My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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