What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
