i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I stole a fireplace last night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
