Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
