i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
