Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
