We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize