The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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