why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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