I smell stomach acid.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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