dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
